


How Could I Ever do This?

by Flowing_River



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Nightmares, Non-Consensual Touching, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Platonic Cuddling, Rape/Non-con Elements, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Torture, if it doesn't kill you first, y'all are going to kill me for this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-07-08 01:07:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 20
Words: 14,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19861030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flowing_River/pseuds/Flowing_River
Summary: “What do you want?” Jack asked, trying once again to pull the attention on himself.“Nothing from you,” the man said looking back at the unconscious form on the ground, “But your friend will be very useful to us.”Jack felt a wave of anger run through him, “Don’t you dare lay a hand on him!”“Oh we won’t...but you will.”“What...what are you talking about?”“I think being tortured by someone you’re close to will convince you to talk faster, won’t it Dalton?”This time Mac and Jack are both captured. But will they survive what happens?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JustAnotherWriter (N1ghtshade)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/N1ghtshade/gifts).



> I was really excited to write this story...I hope y'all like it and hopefully don't kill me
> 
> Thank you so much Thistle for making me so excited to write this and giving me a few ideas!

Jack looked around when he woke up. He knew he definitely wasn't at home because he was tied to a chair. The last thing he remembered was hanging out with Mac at his apartment. 

He looked at the ground in front of him and made out the shape of Mac. He was also tied up and still unconscious.

Jack opened his mouth to try and wake him up, but was interrupted by the door opening. A man walked inside, looking directly at Jack. He didn't look familiar at all.

"Hello, Jack."

Jack frowned, "Where do I know you from?"

"You don't, neither does your friend."

"Do I get a name?" Jack asked, trying to pull the attention off Mac.

"Maybe," he said.

Jack didn't like this, didn't like how calm the man was acting. And he hadn't failed to notice the bucket and towel the man had brought in with him. He knew exactly what was going to happen, and he could just hope that it was going to happen to him. But the man was looking at Mac, not him.

“What do you want?” Jack asked, trying once again to pull the attention on himself.

“Nothing from you,” the man said looking back at the unconscious form on the ground, “But your friend will be very useful to us.”

Jack felt a wave of anger run through him, “Don’t you dare lay a hand on him!”

“Oh we won’t...but you will.”

“What...what are you talking about?”

“I think being tortured by someone you’re close to will convince you to talk faster, won’t it Dalton?”

Jack laughed, “You really expect that you can convince me to hurt him?”

“Oh you will do what we say or we’ll kill him.”

Jack smiled, “Killing him will make sure you don’t get what you want.”

“We don’t need both of you...killing him is a good way to get your mouth open.”

Jack hesitated. There was no way he could hurt Mac, no matter what. But if it meant keeping him alive, would he do it?

“There are worse things than death,” the man threatened, “And your friend is quite pretty. My men and I would enjoy him.”

Jack clenched his fists. There was no way he was going to let these men lay a hand on Mac. The man must have read the decision on his face because he said,

“The only way you can protect him is listening to what I say,” he said handing Jack a bucket and a towel, “Now, let’s get you started…”

A few more men came inside, untying him. They stuck a comm into his ear. Then they all left the room.

"Remember what's at stake. Don't speak a word to him or he will be punished. We're watching you," was said into his ear.

"Now tie him to the chair."

Jack listened. His hands were shaking already. He wanted to whisper how sorry he was, but he knew the comms would pick up on the softest words.

"Throw a bucket of water over him to wake him up. Then you know what to do next."

"Aren't you going to ask him anything?"

"Don't question me, just do what I say. Or we will not restrain ourselves."

Jack flinched. He slowly walked over to the pipe and filled up the bucket. He hesitated before tossing the water over Mac. 

Mac was awake in an instant. He coughed looking around. His eyes locked on Jack. He looked confused at the fact that Jack wasn't tied up.

"Jack? Where are we? What's going on?"

Jack didn't answer, instead turning around to refill the bucket. When he looked at Mac, he tried to express how sorry he was through his eyes. Then he walked up behind Mac.

"Jack?" Mac asked turning around to look at him.

"Pull his head back by his hair," the voice interrupted, "Is it as soft as it looks?"

Jack couldn't believe he was doing this, but he grabbed Mac by the hair, pulling his head back.

"Jack! What are you-"

Jack covered his face and started pouring water on his face. Jack couldn't see through all his tears. Mac was struggling against the ropes and Jack. He was making chocking noises.

Jack was about to stop, when he heard,

"Not yet, wait until he's unconscious."

And Jack did just that...he hated what he was doing, but he had no choice.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glad y'all survived the first chapter! I hope y'all like this one!

Jack dropped the bucket. He wiped away all the tears on his face.

"Pull it together," the voice said in his ear.

Jack had an urge to pull the comm from ear and smash it to bits.

"Remember what's at stake Dalton."

Jack took a few breaths to calm himself down.

_The team's looking for us. Riley has probably almost tracked down our location._

"Wake him up again and continue. I'll tell you when to stop."

Jack obeyed. His hands were still shaking and he willed them to be still. He tossed another bucket of water over Mac. Mac gasped when he woke up. He curled over as much as he could and started coughing. Jack took his time filling up the bucket so Mac could get rid of some of the water in his lungs. If the man noticed, he didn't say anything.

And then Jack did the unthinkable again. This time Mac was more prepared, he had the hard look in his eyes and he was glaring at the camera.

_He knows, he knows I'm being forced to do this._

But that doesn't make what he's doing hurt any less. But he still does it in silence. And Mac doesn't say a word.

"That's enough. Come outside."

Jack resisted the urge to sigh in relief. He follows the instruction and when he steps outside, three men grab his arms and cuff his hands. They take him into a different cell, far away from Mac. It's small, just a cot on the floor and a toilet.

_Mac would be able to escape with this._

The leader is sitting on a chair, waiting for him. The men push him down to sit on the cot.

"Well done."

Jack glared at him.

"Don't be upset, this is your choice. We have no trouble with the other...options."

Jack can tell exactly what he's thinking of. He's reminding Jack of Murdoc.

"What do you want from us? You haven't even told us yet." Jack snapped.

"Patience Dalton. You'll-" he stopped, frowning.

Jack listened, he could hear that something was going on outside. Their was a lot of shouting and running.

The leader pulled out his phone and called someone. Jack couldn't hear what was being said, but the leader hung up with a smile.

"Your friend lives up to name. They were just making sure he would stay put this time."

Jack felt a bit proud that Mac was able to escape, but he wished it had been a successful attempt. And he didn't like the way he said "stay put this time."

"What did you do to him?" Jack demanded.

"We didn't do anything to him, you're the only one who's hurting him."

Jack clenched his fists. The men held him down before he could even try and get up.

"But he needs to be punished, so be prepared."

Jack didn't like the sound of this at all. He held his breath in anticipation as the leader leaned forward and whispered something in his ear.

_I can't do that. I could never do that to Mac. But I have too, I have no choice._

So he was taken back into that room. This time there were two guards watching Mac and he had a new bruise on his face. The guards left when Jack entered. Mac looked at Jack. Jack could read what he was silently telling him.

_It's okay, I'm fine._

Jack tried to portray how sorry he was and Mac looked at him like he knew.

"Hello MacGyver," said a voice from a speaker on the wall. Jack recognized it to be the leaders voice.

"What did you do with him?" Mac said. Jack was glad to hear that Mac sounded angry, not scared.

"Nothing. But that doesn't matter. What matters is that I want something from you."

"I'm not telling you anything.

"But it's such a simple thing. Just give me your login for the Phoenix."

Mac frowned, "They would have changed them by now. What I know is useless."

"That's just a show of good faith. When you tell me that, I'll tell you what I actually want to know."

Mac frowned.

"But for now, you need to be taught to control yourself. You won't be escaping any place after this."

Jack heard the voice in his ear say "Now."

He walked up to Mac, trying not to look at him. Instead, he grabbed one of Mac's fingers and pulled it up slowly. Then, when he got the right angle, he snapped it quickly. Mac gasped in pain. Jack knew what he was doing was a bit more painful for Mac, but it made sure that Mac's finger would heal properly.

"That was to make sure you don't go anywhere. But I have nine more to get what I want from you."

Mac glared at the camera. So Jack was instructed to break another finger. This time Mac managed to hold back his scream, but at the next finger he couldn't. By the time Jack was done with all of his fingers, Mac was curled up, screaming in pain. Jack wished so badly that he could take all the pain away from Mac, but he couldn't. He was the one putting Mac in pain. And he couldn't do anything to change that...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter! I hope y'all like it!

Mac sat in silence, waiting. Ever since his fingers were broken, he had been untied from the chair. A single chain from the metal loop in the center of the room attached to his ankle was the only thing keeping him there. He could think of a dozen ways to escape, but with his broken fingers, he couldn't actually do anything besides wait. And waiting meant thinking.

He had already figured out that Jack was being forced to torture him. He knew Jack would never hurt him voluntarily, at least not like _this_. But he didn't know how they forced him. It was obvious that Jack felt guilty for what he was doing, but that only confirmed that they weren't using drugs.

So were they threatening something? Or someone? But then why would they make Jack torture him, why not do it themselves. He was sure they could find someone a lot more eager to hurt him. None of this made sense. 

Maybe they were doing this to hurt Jack. But that wouldn't make sense either because there were a lot of people more important to Jack then him. He wasn't important enough to Jack to be used as leverage.

Mac frowned when he looked at the sliver of light that he was using to tell. Jack was late. He showed up at almost the same time for the past few day...what was different about today?

Mac really wished he had a paperclip. Or something to do. Then he remembered his fingers again and sighed.

Mac tensed when the door was opened and Jack walked inside. He couldn't help the flinch when the door was closed.

"Changed your mind yet?" the voice asked.

Mac sighed, he also hadn't been able to figure out who the person talking to them was. He knew them obviously, but Mac couldn't place him.

"You don't have to tell me your login, I can work with something else. You can tell me anything you want."

Mac couldn't help himself, "The atomic mass of Oxygen is 15.999 amu."

He heard a noise next to him and turned to see Jack trying to choke back laughter.

Mac couldn't help, but smile. But he frowned at the rapid change of expression on Jack's face. He couldn't figure out what was said to Jack (he had noticed the comm two days back) that would put such a look of horror on Jack's face. And when Jack went for the bucket and towel in the corner of the room, Mac couldn't help, but shaking in fear. He pushed himself further into the corner. Jack looked at him with sadness before dragging him to the chair.

Jack frowned when he entered Mac's cell. Mac didn't react, just sat huddled up in his corner.

_Is he still unconscious?_

The leader had been frustrated at the lack of results from Mac, ordering his men to beat Mac up after each "session."

But Mac still refused to say a word. Jack knew Mac couldn't hold on for much longer, he could just pray someone was coming for them soon. It had been at least a week by now, they had to be close. But a part of Jack knew that the longer they were missing, the smaller the chance of the team finding them.

Mac flinched away from Jack when Jack woke him up. It hurt every time that happened and Jack wished yet again that he wasn't putting Mac in so much pain.

"Waterboarding," was said in his ear.

Jack dragged Mac to the chair. He tried not to watch Mac while he filled up the bucket. Because Mac looked terrified and it broke Jack to see that and not be able to comfort Mac. He yearned to tell Mac that everything was okay that he wasn't going to hurt him anymore. But he couldn't, not if he wanted to keep Mac safe.

Mac no longer said a word, he didn't look at Jack with hope anymore. Jack knew that Mac knew that he was being forced, but it was hard to believe that anymore. Because Mac only looked at him with fear.

When he walked back to Mac, Mac looked at him, wide-eyed with tears in his eyes.

"Please don't...please don't do this, Jack...please don't..."

Jack froze, no matter how scared Mac had been, Jack had never heard him beg like this. And Jack wanted to stop, wanted to tell him that he wouldn't do it so badly, but he couldn't. He couldn't do anything.

"Do it," said the voice. He could hear the satisfaction in his voice.

Jack obeyed, but what he saw after he was done made him freeze again. Mac was _crying_. He coughed for a second before saying,

"Please stop it...please....I can't...not anymore."

And that's when Jack wondered if this was really worth it. Mac was in so much pain because of him. Maybe it would be better if he ended Mac's suffering, if no one was coming for then, then what was the point of all of this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all like this chapter!

Jack was still in shock when they took him back to his cell. The leader came in, smiling,

"We're making some process finally."

Jack looked up at him. He felt hollow.

"I'm not going to do it anymore."

"Do what?"

"Hurt him. I don't care what you say, I'm not going to do it."

The man smiled, "So your going to let your friend die?" he asked.

Jack hesitated, "Yes," he whispered.

The man looked shocked, then he smiled again.

"That's your choice. Finally, I'll get to have my chance with him."

Jack frowned, "What...what do you mean?"

"Oh you didn't think we would make it quick, did you? We still have so much to do with him. I wouldn't let the pretty one go without tasting him, would I? And my men have been quite eager to test him out too. We might not even kill him, he would be good to keep here."

Jack's eyes widened, "No! I'll do it, I'll do it."

The leader got up, "Too late, you've made your decision and I've made mine. I'm too excited for this."

"No, don't you dare touch him."

The man laughed, "You don't have any say in that, Dalton."

Jack tried to get up, but he was held back by the guards in his room,

"Please don't do this. Please don't hurt him, I'll do what you say, just don't touch him."

The leader froze with his hand on the door. He turned back towards Jack.

"Fine, do this for me and I won't lay a hand on him"

The leader walked up to Jack and whispered something in his ear. Jack looked at him in shock, but he knew he had to do this. For Mac's sake.

When Jack walked into Mac's cell, he noticed Mac was tied up again, hanging from the ceiling by his wrists. Jack winced, he knew with Mac's broken hands, the position he was in was extremally painful. And he was about to make it worse.

Mac turned to look at Jack and when his eyes locked on the whip in Jack's hand, tears started running down his face.

"Please don't do this Jack....please don't....please..."

Mac kept begging and begging with him, but he couldn't listen. He tried to zone out Mac's voice, but he couldn't. He could never zone out Mac while he was in pain, no matter how hard he tried. 

Jack tried not to watch as he brought the whip down on Mac's back, over and over again. He tried not to listen as Mac screamed and begged with him to stop.

And when he heard the voice in his ear say stop, he dropped the whip immediately, trying to resist the urge to go and comfort Mac. Because Mac was sobbing. Jack didn't know if it was from fear or pain, but Jack wanted to make it better. He wanted to comfort Mac so badly. But he couldn't. Not if he wanted to protect Mac from these men.

"Come back to your room. Someone wants to talk to you."

Jack frowned, but obeyed. He tried to calm himself down, but he was still shaking and tears were still running down his face from what he had just done.

When he sat down inside his cell, the leader put his phone call on speaker.

"Hello Jack! How are you doing?" said a cheerful voice.

_Murdoc._

"You bastard. What did you do?"

"Nothing, besides planning this out. One of my better plans don't you think? Angus looks so good when he's begging you to stop."

Jack's eyes widened in horror.

"I hired these men of course. I would have loved to have done this myself, of course, but I thought that you wouldn't believe the threats coming from me."

Jack had to admit Murdoc had a point. He knew that Murdoc would never kill Mac so easily as long as he was playing his game.

"Why did you do this?"

"Because I wanted to. I wanted to see the horror on your face from hurting the one person you promised ever to hurt. I wanted to see the fear of _you_ on Angus' face. I wanted to see him break from your hands. And I have to say I'm quite satisfied by the results."

"What does that mean?"

"It means your job is done. I'll be taking him from your hands. It'll be so much fun playing with him while he's this broken."

"No, you can't-"

"Oh I can Dalton. And I will. I'll be seeing you."

And with that, Murdoc hung up the phone...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all like this one!

Jack was dumped into Mac's cell. He immediately ran to Mac and kneeled next to him. Mac was curled up on the ground trying to protect himself as best as possible. He whimpered when Jack knelt next to him.

"I'm sorry Mac, I'm so sorry."

"Please don't hurt me."

"I won't, I will never hurt you again. I promise."

But the words felt wrong on his tongue. He had promised that before, yet he had still hurt Mac. Why would Mac believe him now?

"I'm sorry just please don't hurt me."

"I won't Mac I won't."

What had he done? He played right into Murdoc's hands and now Mac was scared of _him_.

Mac whimpered again. He somehow curled up even more.

Jack backed away a little from him and Mac seemed to relax.

"Mac? It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you."

His voice seemed to finally have gone through to Mac.

"Jack?"

"Yeah, I'm right here and I'm not going to hurt you."

That's when Jack noticed Mac was shivering. It seemed that no one was taking care of any of his injuries. Jack needed to take care of that, but first he had to keep Mac calm.

"Are you thirsty?" Jack asked.

Mac hesitated then nodded. Jack's heart broke. Mac knew he could get water from the pipe in the room, but he couldn't turn it on with his broken fingers. And the only thing he could fill up was the bucket he used for waterboarding. 

Jack knew that would send Mac panicking so he turned on the water and cupped his hands together. He slowly made his way to Mac and let him drink the water.

"You want more?"

Mac nodded, so Jack repeated the process a few times. He decided not to mess with Mac's back.

_He doesn't need that right now. He needs to believe that I still care for him before Murdoc comes here._

Jack could just hope Murdoc was still far away. 

_The longer it takes for him to get here, the better._

But he could do something about Mac's shivering. He unbuttoned his shirt and gently laid it over Mac's shoulders. Mac tried to grasp it, but he cried out when he moved his fingers.

"Careful Mac," Jack gently said.

Mac flinched again. Jack opened his mouth to say something, but he froze when he heard the noise coming from outside the cell. He can hear a lot of footsteps and people screaming at each other.

_No, Murdoc can't be here now._

He had failed. And now Murdoc was going to take Mac and there was nothing he could do about it.

Tears were falling down Jack's face as he said, "I'm sorry Mac, I'm sorry. I wish I could have done better."

But when the door opened, it's not Murdoc standing there with his sick smile, it's a TAC team. The Phoenix TAC team. Jack blinked.

_Am I dreaming_

But no, they're actually there. They quickly walk over to Mac and Jack and free them. One of them, Stephens, called for medical then walked over to Jack.

"Are you hurt?" he asked.

Jack shook his head. And then medical ran in and started helping Mac. They yelled to each other about blood loss and pneumonia and hypothermia and it's too much for Jack to process. He passes out...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment!


	6. Chapter 6

When Jack woke up, Riley, Bozer, and Matty were standing over him. When they noticed he was awake, they sighed in relief.

"Where's Mac?"

"They're still treating him, he's next door. They'll let you see him as soon as they're done," Matty said. Jack knew her well enough to hear how tired and relived she sounded.

Jack's eyes widened, "No."

"No? You don't want to see him?" Matty asked with a frown.

"I do, but I think it's better if he doesn't see me."

"Why?" Riley demanded, "What happened?"

Jack turned towards her. She also looked exhausted, as if she hadn't slept while they were gone. He could see how her eyes glistened a bit, so he reached for her hand and grasped it. She smiled a bit.

"I missed you Jack," she said.

"I know, I know."

"What happened to Mac? Why-"

Riley stopped herself, but Jack knew what she wanted to ask. Why was Mac hurt, but not Jack?

Jack looked away before telling them everything that happened. He didn't want to see the looks on there faces when they heard that he was the one who hurt Mac. But he was surprised by their reactions. Riley sat next to him and hugged him,

"It's okay, it's okay."

"How?" Jack said, breaking out in tears, "I promised I wouldn't be just another person who would hurt him and I hurt him worse then anyone else. He trusted me, now he's scared of me."

"He's not," Bozer said through the tears in his eyes, "He was asking for you, he was worried about you."

"He flinches away anytime he sees me."

"This isn't your fault Jack," Matty said firmly despite her soft voice, "If you want to blame someone, blame Murdoc. Mac doesn't blame you and neither do any of us."

Jack nodded, wiping away the tears running down his face.

"But I still don't think Mac should see me."

"We'll sit with him until he wakes up, then we'll call you," Riley said.

"Get some rest," Matty said.

Jack nodded closing his eyes and surprising himself by drifting off right away.

Riley was worried as she sat by Mac. She knew Jack would still feel guilty despite there best efforts. And she read Mac's medical report, he was in bad shape. A few of his fingers had to be rebroken because, despite Jack's best efforts, they were healing wrong. But there was no permanent damage. He had a few broken ribs from the beatings. He had severe pneumonia because of all the water he had inhaled and mild hypothermia. He was dehydrated and had malnutrition. And his back...a few of the deeper lashes had gotten infected.

That was what the doctors were most worried about. And they had to lay Mac on his back because of his broken ribs and pneumonia. 

She turned her attention to Mac when he gasped. It looked as if he was waking up and she was right. Mac opened his eyes and looked around, clearly looking for someone or something. When he didn't find it, he looked at Bozer. He tried to say something, but his throat was too dry.

Riley gave him a sip of water.

"Thank you," he whispered. His voice was still hoarse from screaming.

"Jack?" he asked looking at Bozer.

"He's resting next door," Bozer said, "I can call him if you want to see him."

Mac nodded, so Bozer pulled out his phone and texted him. Riley almost jumped when Mac put his casted hand on top of hers. She managed to smile at him.

"Don't ever disappear like that again," she said.

"I'm sorry," Mac said.

"Don't apologize Mac, this wasn't your fault. I just wish we could have found you two faster."

Mac sighed, then asked hesitantly, "What did they tell Jack?"

"I don't know if I should-"

"Please. I need to know," Mac pleaded.

She sighed, she knew she could never deny him. He was like a little brother who always made puppy eyes when he asked for something. So she told him. And she could have sworn he sighed in relief.

"I knew he would never hurt me like that," Mac said quietly.

But it must have crossed his mind. Riley knew that would instantly kill Jack if he found out, but Mac couldn't help himself. Especially with his father back in his life, it seemed his abandonment issues had pooped up again. They had never really disappeared, but they had gotten better. And now he was back to square one.

Just as she thought of James, he walked into the room. Riley cursed internally. The last Mac needed right now was James and his mind games. Mac didn't seem practically pleased at seeing James. In fact he seemed a little scared.

"Angus," James said, "How are you feeling?"

"Fine," Mac murmured.

"I heard about what Dalton did. It's quite a shame."

Mac flinched.

_So this was what he was scared about. James punishing Jack._

"It wasn't his fault. He saved my life and he save me from..." Mac trailed off.

She knew Mac hated what those men had threatened to do to him. She wished she had gotten a chance to punch them for even thinking about doing that to Mac.

"But he still tortured you. I saw the videos."

Mac flinched again, "What...what videos?"

"The one's those men sent to Murdoc."

Mac froze and Riley wanted to punch James. She hadn't mentioned Murdoc's involvement yet because she knew it would make Mac panic. And she was right. Mac's breathing picked up and he glanced around wildly, looking around for Jack again. Riley did the best she could calming him down. She shot a glare at James, but he didn't seem to care.

"Dalton will be investigated for this," James continued ignoring how Mac was still panicking. 

Then James' phone buzzed and he glanced at it with a frown.

"I have to take this," he said walking out of the room. Riley could hear the sounds of his arguing as he left medical. She looked at Matty who winked at her. 

She turned her attention back to Mac who seemed to have calmed himself down.

"Jack?" he asked again.

"Mac?" said another voice, _Jack's _voice.__

__Mac flinched away and Riley could tell why Jack was so heartbroken. It was obvious that Mac was still afraid of him. Not afraid of his voice or talking about him, but seeing him. She couldn''t imagine how he felt, wanting to be comforted by Jack, but being so scared of him._ _

__Jack kept his distance, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."_ _

__"It's okay Jack, I forgive you. Riley told me what happened."_ _

__Jack was crying again, but so was Mac._ _

__"Can you come here?" Mac asked quietly._ _

__Jack hesitated, but then slowly walked to Mac's side, kneeling next to him. He gently laid a hand on Mac's arm and Mac flinched at first, but then slowly relaxed. Mac sighed closing his eyes and falling asleep. Riley stared at him, surprised._ _

__"He's tired," Jack said._ _

__"You should get some rest too," Riley said._ _

__He hesitated then lay down on the couch in the room and fell asleep. Riley smiled, maybe everything would be fine...maybe._ _

__But she had no idea what was coming..._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for briefly disappearing...

Riley woke up to screaming. It was Mac, screaming and thrashing on his hospital bed. A few alarms were going off which explained the nurses in the room. But what broke Riley's heart was what Mac was saying. Jack and Bozer were trying to wake him up, but they weren't having any success.

"No...no...stop, please stop! Jack, JACK!"

She noticed the tears running down Jack's face. She knew why Jack was so upset, it was obvious what Mac was dreaming about.

Mac woke up with a scream. He panted heavily, trying to sit up, but he was stopped by his various injuries. He looked around the room frantically and when his eyes landed on Jack he sighed in relief. There were tears running down his face now.

Riley was confused. She would have expected Mac to be scared of Jack instead of relieved for him.

"Jack?" he said.

Jack stepped forward and sat down next to Mac again. Mac tried grasping Jack's hand, but he was stopped by his broken fingers.

"Careful Mac, I'm right here, it's alright," Jack said.

It seemed Jack was as confused as she was about what Mac had dreamed about, but it didn't stop him from calming Mac down. Jack wiped away the tears on Mac's face and said,

"It's okay, you're safe now, no one can hurt you."

Mac seemed calmer now, he seemed like he was almost asleep.

"Get some rest, we'll be right here."

After Mac seemed to drift off, Riley also sat back, relaxing. She let herself drift off to sleep as well.

Riley was awoken again by Mac. He wasn't screaming this time, instead repeating a heartbreaking line over and over again.

"Please stop, Jack...I can't anymore...I'm sorry, I'm sorry...just please stop."

This time Jack was letting Bozer try and wake up Mac. He stepped back, so he wouldn't be the first thing Mac would see when he woke up. Riley got up to try and help Bozer. She hoped hearing her voice would snap him out of his dream and she was right. Mac sat up with a gasp, relaxing when he noticed where he was. He flinched away from them when he noticed Jack and Riley's heart broke at the look on Jack's face.

"I won't hurt you Mac, I promise," Jack pleaded.

Mac looked at him for a second, before bursting out in tears, "I sorry Jack, I'm so sorry."

Jack immediately came to his side, "None of this is your fault Mac. You have nothing to apologize for."

"I know you won't hurt me, then why am I so scared?" Mac asked through his tears.

A look of pain passed over Jack's face, "You have nothing to apologize for. You're having a completely normal reaction to what happened."

"But I'm hurting you. I saw the look on your face," Mac whispered.

"You're not hurting me, I just regret what happened. And don't apologize, none of this was your fault Mac."

It took a few more minutes before Mac calmed down enough to sleep again. And then slowly, everyone else also fell asleep.

It was morning when Riley woke up this time. It seemed that Mac had slept undisturbed the rest of the night. When she looked over at him, she realized why. Mac was still laying on his back, but he was practically hugging one of Jack's arms to his chest. She smiled at how peaceful Mac and Jack both looked. She glanced around the room and noticed that Matty was back in the room. She walked over to her, whispering to avoid waking Jack and Mac.

"Why is there a TAC team outside?" she asked. They were at the Phoenix, they should be safe.

"I got a message from Murdoc last night. I put them there just in case."

Riley nodded, they could never be too careful when it came to Murdoc.

"Can I see your phone, maybe I can trace it."

Matty shook her head, "It was a burner phone, I already got it checked out."

Riley was frustrated even though she had guessed what Matty told her. She hated how Murdoc always seemed to stay one step ahead of them.

"What did the message say?" Riley asked hesitantly. She was almost scared to find out, but she had to know.

Matty held up her phone, so Riley could see. It was just four simple words,

'This isn't over yet...'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't kill me...

Murdoc observed the medical room quietly. He could see Dalton, Davis, and Wilt sitting around what he presumed to be a hospital bed. He could also see the two members of the TAC team stationed outside the door. Murdoc almost laughed.

_They think two people can keep me from Angus?_

Of course there's Dalton himself, but if he really wanted to, he could kill them all without anyone even finding out until it was too late. Luckily, he came prepared.

_Maybe I'll kill those guards._

Just another thing Angus will blame himself for.

Murdoc pulled out his gun and aimed it at Dalton. He knew Dalton was the biggest threat to this plan, so he had to take him out first. He pulled the trigger and let the dart fly. Dalton shot up to his feet when he was hit, but he couldn't do more than shout a warning before he was knocked out. Murdoc quickly knocked out the rest of the team and the guards before entering the room through the window. 

He pulled out his gun, his real one and kneeled down next to Dalton. Dalton's eyes were still opened, but it seemed he didn't have the energy to even lift his arms.

"You bastard," he managed to whisper.

Murdoc smiled, "Don't worry about Angus, he'll be in safe hands.

Dalton tried to say something, but he couldn't fight back any longer and he passed out. Murdoc smiled, standing up and looking at the two members of the TAC team. He could tell they were struggling to get up. One of them managed to get his hand on his gun

Murdoc pulled the gun out of his hand, smiling.

"I can't have you alerting anyone, can I?" he said before shooting both of them. 

He dropped the gun, then walked over to Angus. He was asleep, he hadn't even flinched at the noise. Murdoc pulled out a needle and injected Angus with the drug. Just to make sure he wouldn't wake up during the transport.

He gently picked up Angus and managed to get them both out through the window. He laid him down in the back of the car and drove away with a smile on his face...

Mac didn't know where he was when he woke up. He was still lying on what looked like a hospital bed, but he knew he wasn't in a hospital or Phoenix medical. And he was alone.

_What happened? And where is everyone else?_

Mac glanced down at himself. He was covered in a thick blanket, but he still felt cold. His fingers were still wrapped up and a few were still casted. He could feel the bandages on his back. Mac shifted, then gasped. He knew he was being pain meds, but the amount of pain he was in now told him that he wasn't getting any right now.

Mac managed to pull the blanket partly off of himself then froze. He wasn't wearing a hospital gown anymore, instead he was in sweatpants and t-shirt. Mac shivered, but this time it had nothing to do with the cold. He didn't know where he was or who had changed his clothes. But at least he wasn't tied up. Mac took a few breaths to prepare himself before standing up, but he was stopped by whistling.

_Home on the range. Which meant...Murdoc._

Suddenly, Mac felt so much worse about being changed out of the gown. What could have Murdoc done to him while he was unconscious? And what could he have done to his team?

Mac couldn't stop shaking as Murdoc stepped into the room, smiling at him.

"Oh Angus, I've been waiting for this for so long."

"What do you want?" Mac asked, trying not to let his voice tremble.

"To see you, of course. I have to say, Jack did a good job on you. I'm almost impressed."

Mac managed to glare at Murdoc.

"You look cold," Murdoc said stepping forward and covering him with the blanket. He grabbed another one from the shelf and put it on top of him.

"I can't let your hypothermia get out of control now." Murdoc said.

"What do you want?" Mac repeated.

"Didn't Dalton tell you? Or Mathilda? I told them this wasn't over. I still wanted to see you. And they owe me this after my helpful tip that gave them your location."

Mac frowned, "If you wanted me, then why did you bother with all of that. Why did you tell them our location?"

Murdoc smiled, "Someone needed to patch you up. I am quite good at it, but I don't have access to all these supplies. But how I do wish I was the one who stitched up your back. But I can't have everything, I guess. And I have you now."

Mac didn't say anything.

_Don't anger him. When he leaves, you can get out of here._

Granted, it would be a bit hard with his broken fingers, but he knew he could manage.

Murdoc ran a hand down Mac's face and Mac shuddered.

"I have to go now, but I'll be back. Sleep."

Mac didn't saw anything, just stared.

"And don't try escaping, you won't get anywhere," Murdoc said, tugging on the chains that attached his ankles to the bedpost. 

Mac hadn't noticed that. And he hadn't noticed when Murdoc had slipped him a drug because the way he was passing out, he had been drugged...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags have been updated because Murdoc...

When Mac woke up again, Murdoc was staring at him. Mac shivered.

_How long has he been watching me? Or doing worse?_

Mac hated the fact that he couldn't remember anything that happened while he was drugged. He could have been forced to do or say anything and he would never know. Unless Murdoc told him.

Murdoc walked up to him,

"Did you sleep well, my dear?"

Mac didn't answer. So Murdoc grabbed one of his hands, examining it.

"You know...repeated trauma can cause permanent damage."

Mac froze then he said, "It was fine."

It wasn't fine. He couldn't remember anything.

"Oh don't worry, I didn't do anything to you while you were asleep. That wouldn't be any fun, would it?"

Mac didn't say anything, just silently watched Murdoc.

Murdoc stepped closer to him, running his hand down Mac's face like the had done the day before. Mac shuddered trying to get away from Murdoc's touch, but he was too weak.

"I wish I could have more fun with you. But you're in such bad shape right now. No worries, I can wait."

Mac flinched. He knew exactly what Murdoc meant.

"Oh don't be scared, darling."

Murdoc continued running his hand all over Mac. Mac tried pushing the hands away, but he couldn't, he was too weak.

This continued for a few minutes before Murdoc stopped and stepped back. Mac sighed in relief.

"You know they aren't coming for you," Murdoc said.

"What?"

"You're waiting for your team to come...they aren't coming."

Mac's stomach turned, "What...what did you do to them?"

"Nothing. But they aren't coming because they don't care."

"They care about me," Mac said, his voice shaking a bit.

"Why did it take them so long to rescue you? You weren't hidden that well. They should have found you in a week, but it took them three with my help. If I hadn't told them, they would have left you there to die. I suppose they only rescued you because Dalton was with you."

"That's not-"

"Say what you want, you know it's true, pet. And don't get me started on Dalton, he's probably glad you're gone."

"No...he-"

"You're so needy. Always asking for his attention between your nightmares and injuries. He's gotten tired of you. And now your gone he doesn't have to deal with you."

"That's-"

"I'm the only one who cares, Angus."

Jack was confused when he woke up. He was lying in a hospital bed. He groaned looking around. He was alone, except for Matty.

_What happened?_

Jack concentrated, thinking back to the last thing he remembered. When his memory cleared he sat up quickly, then collapsed after a wave of dizziness.

"Careful, Jack," Matty said.

He looked at her with pleading eyes.

_Please let what happened be a dream._

But Matty shook he head, "We haven't found him yet. But we did get a message. From Murdoc."

Jack sat up and read the message, 'Thank you, I'm having a lot of fun. Don't bother looking for him, I'll return him when I get bored...'

Jack felt a wave of anger run through him, "That bastard. He can't just grab Mac whenever he feels like it."

"Don't worry, we'll find him. But what happened Jack?"

Jack quickly told her. Then he asked about everyone else.

"Riley and Bozer are fine. As for Gabriel and Tony...Tony will recover, but they couldn't save Gabriel."

Jack closed his eyes for a second, "He's playing games with Mac. He knows Mac will feel guilty about this."

"I know. And we will find them, both of them. And I'll make sure he can never get his hands on Mac again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment!


	10. Chapter 10

Mac woke up to Murdoc watching him, as usual. It had seemed to become a regular routine. Waking up, Murdoc talking to him and touching him, then being drugged again. He didn't know how long he had been there. The drugs messed up his sense of time.

"How are you feeling, darling?"

Mac shivered, he knew what would happen if he refused to answer, "Fine."

"Good. You know how long it's been? One week. One week since you've been here and not even a noise from your so called 'team.' I'm really amazed you still have faith in them. They probably aren't even looking for you."

Mac stayed quiet. Murdoc stepped up to him and lifted his chin up, by one finger, forcing him to meet Murdoc's eyes.

"Don't be upset, pet. I'm just telling you the truth. I know it hurts, being betrayed by the people you thought you can depend on, but it's time to move on. You can't change the past."

"What do you want? What will happen if I accept what your saying?"

"You don't have to be in so much pain. I know your back and hands hurt. And you're cold. You can be a lot more comfortable until you heal up."

"And then?"

"Well I can have some fun with you. Or we could have fun, that's up to you. You can't change what's going to happen, dear. But you don't have to suffer this much."

Mac hesitated, he knew Murdoc was right. And maybe if Murdoc started trusting him, he could find a way to escape.

"What did we say about this? I thought we agreed, you wouldn't try escaping. Now what happens is your fault."

Mac couldn't help, but start shaking. He didn't mean to say anything out loud, but the drugs were making it hard to focus.

"Shhh, it's okay my dear," he said, running his hand down Mac's arm.

Mac gasped as Murdoc grabbed one of his hands. He forced Mac to bend his arm, so that Mac was lying down with his hand next to his head and his elbow was digging into his ribs. They he grabbed some rope and tied his broken fingers to a chain, which he attached to the headboard. There was no slack, so Mac couldn't move the position his hand was in at all. And if he tried, it would just hurt his fingers.

Murdoc tugged his hand a few times, making a satisfied noise when Mac cried out in pain. He then repeated the process with Mac's other hand.

"There, all done."

Mac shifted, then cried out again. Even the smallest movement sent pain through his hands. And the position he was in was extremally uncomfortable. 

"Good-bye dear, sleep well."

He wasn't even going to drug Mac, instead leaving him in this awkward position. Mac's arms were already starting to hurt.

"I'll free your hands if you're good, okay? I'll be back."

And then Murdoc left him in the cold, dark room. Alone.

Jack wanted to punch a wall. Or cry, he didn't know what would come first. They had no leads on where Mac could have been taken. Murdoc had apparently hired someone to hack into the Phoenix and override there security systems. And that hacker had been in there system for days, unnoticed because everyone was focusing on them and a possible security leak because they had been taken from Jack's apartment. 

_Murdoc's been planning this for weeks. And who knows what lies he's putting in Mac's head._

Jack hated how Murdoc seemed to know all of Mac's weaknesses. He knew the things that scared Mac and all of his insecurities. And he loved using it against Mac. Somehow, he was easily able to convince Mac that he wasn't worth caring for and that Jack didn't care for him. It took Jack a lot of time to convince Mac otherwise and that was when he hadn't tortured Mac. Jack knew Mac knew he was being threatened, but he also knew how easy it would be for Mac to forget that. 

He was just scared of what Murdoc was doing to him and what lies Murdoc would have already convinced him were true...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to stop hurting Mac, but I had some evil ideas...sorry.
> 
> **Warning** : This chapter contains a lot more non-con then before. I don't think it's enough to change the tags, but if you aren't sure about this, go down to the end notes where I have a short summary of what happens.

Mac doesn't sleep this time. He tries to, he really does, but he's in to much pain to sleep and not enough to pass out. His hands are throbbing and his arms are sore from the uncomfortable position he's in. For once, he wants Murdoc to come back into the room because Murdoc is the only one who can untie him. And his wishes are answered when the door opens. Mac flinches when he sees Murdoc. Murdoc smiles at him and walks up to him.

"Oh dear, it looks like you didn't get any sleep. How are the hands?"

Normally Mac would refuse to say anything, but his hands hurt too much, "Hurts," he manages to say, "Please make it stop."

"Have you learned your lesson now? You know what will happen if you defy me?"

Mac nods, so Murdoc loosens the bonds enough for Mac to relax. Mac sighs in relief.

"What do you say?"

Mac swallowed his pride, "Thank you," he managed to say.

"That's better, dear."

"Are you still waiting for your team to come for you?"

Mac didn't say anything, instead looking away. All of Murdoc's words hurt, but a small part of him was still convinced they weren't true. The way everyone was so worried about him in the hospital was still fresh in his mind.

"After everything I told you, you still don't believe me?"

"They're still looking I know it, I can feel it."

Murdoc laughed. "You can feel it, what a pathetic hope to have."

"If they aren't looking for me, they're at least looking for you."

"They don't care about catching me. After all, I got rid of their biggest problem."

Mac couldn't help the tears that started leaking from his eyes, "That's...that's not true."

"It is, it is darling. Oh you look so pretty when you cry. I can't help myself," Murdoc said.

Mac flinched at Murdoc's sudden change in tone. He struggled against the rope when Murdoc pulled out a knife, only succeeding in putting himself in more pain.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you. I'm not Jack."

Mac flinched again when Murdoc said that. Murdoc brought the knife close to him, but instead of cutting him, he started cutting off Mac's clothes. Mac started struggling again, but he froze when Murdoc glared at him.

"You don't want to make this worse then it already is, dear."

Mac looked away when Murdoc was done. He didn't want to see Murdoc's expression as he examined him.

"You're so pretty, darling. Oh how I wish I didn't have to wait for you to heal."

Mac shivered at that statement. Then Murdoc started touching him again, running his hands across all of his scars and stopping on the one on his chest.

"I didn't realize how close this was to killing you. Whatever happened to Kendrick?"

Mac didn't answer, but it seemed that Murdoc wasn't looking for an answer. Murdoc continued running his hands, his breathing picking up. Mac tried not to think about what that meant.

"You know, I think I'm going to give you a deal. I'm feeling generous today."

The way Murdoc was looking at him, Mac really didn't want to know what this 'deal' was.

"I realize I can't have all the fun I want, with you in this condition. But, I'm getting impatient. I'll let you go," Murdoc said.

Mac frowned, he knew Murdoc wasn't done.

"In exchange for a blowjob," Murdoc finished, looking at him with a lustful smile.

Mac froze. That wasn't what he was expecting at all. A few weeks ago, he would have refused, right away, but now he was considering it. As much as he wanted to throw up at Murdoc's suggestion, he wanted to go home. He wanted Jack and his team, he wanted to feel safe. But Mac didn't trust Murdoc. He knew Murdoc would never let him go, so quickly and he wasn't desperate enough to risk it, yet. So he hardened his gaze and shook his head.

Murdoc frowned, "Last chance."

Mac shook his head again, so Murdoc narrowed his eyes.

"Fine. But remember, you chose this. You chose to be cold and naked instead of being free. And you chose to take this punishment."

Mac didn't remember Murdoc saying anything about a punishment, but he couldn't stop Murdoc. Murdoc smiled, tightening the chains that restrained his hands again. then he grabbed some more rope and tied it around his elbow and tying it tightly to the footboard, leaving no slack. In fact, his arm was being stretched in two different directions, making the pain unbearable. He couldn't help the whimper when Murdoc grabbed his other arm and did the same.

"Say cheese," Murdoc said. 

And Mac heard a few clicks that indicated that Murdoc had taken some photos of him. But he was in too much pain to care. He just wanted the pain to stop. And finally passing out was a mercy upon him...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Murdoc strips Mac and touches him, but doesn't do anything further then that. He also offers Mac a deal, he'll let Mac go if Mac gives him a blowjob, but Mac refuses.
> 
> Please leave a comment!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags still apply for this chapter...

Jack was frustrated. He looked over everything they had again, which was almost nothing. The only thing they really had was what car Murdoc had disappeared in, but that didn't help them at all. They had nothing and Jack was angry and frustrated and tired. He wanted to find Mac, to see that he was safe. So Jack continued scanning the traffic cams looking for something, anything. And then his phone buzzed.

It was a picture from a unknown number. Normally he would have ignored it, but something told him to look at it. And he almost threw up when he did. It was Mac and he was in pain. Jack hated how easily he could see the pain and fear in Mac's face. And his heart broke at how cruelly Mac was tied up. His hands would hurt a lot without them being stretched like that, and he couldn't imagine how Mac felt right now.

But what scared Jack the most was the fact that Mac was naked. And the message he got only made those fears worse.

_He looks so beautiful like this, in so much pain. It's delicious, I'm enjoying myself. Thank you._

Jack was clutching his phone so hard, he was afraid it might break. He calmed down a bit when he heard Matty's voice.

"What is it Jack?"

Jack knew Mac would never want anyone to see him like this, but he had to show Matty. Riley and Bozer would understand. So he silently handed the phone over to Matty. He saw anger in her expression when she saw the photo.

"Trace it, Riley," she said quietly.

"I already did, it's a burner. It' been turned off or destroyed, I don't know where it is."

Matty handed back the phone and it buzzed again, a message from a different number.

_War room in 5 minutes. Just the team or I'll disconnect it._

Jack quickly told everyone what Murdoc had said and Riley set up a tracking system.

Waiting 5 minutes was almost like torture. Almost. And when Murdoc popped up on the screen, Jack resisted the urge to punch the screen.

"Hello team Phoenix. How are all of you guys?"

No one said anything to Murdoc.

"No need to be rude. Angus is fine, don't be so worried."

"He's not fine," Jack bit out, "He's with you."

"Being with you is much better then, huh? After all, you were the one who tortured him. You're the reason he hasn't escaped yet."

Jack didn't say anything, but he could help the hurt look he knew that passed over his face.

"What do you want Murdoc?" Matty asked.

"Listen," Murdoc said.

Jack frowned, but he did what Murdoc said. And what he heard broke his heart again. Gasps of pain with occasional whimpers. Jack knew Mac had to be in unbearable pain to sound like that. Murdoc smiled, walking inside the door and showing them Mac. Jack heard Bozer and Riley gasp and look away. Mac's eyes were closed, but it was obvious he was still awake.

"Hello, dear. How are you feeling?"

Jack growled when he heard the falsely sweet pet name. But it seemed Murdoc had muted the call.

Mac answered right away, "Hurts," he gasped. 

"Did you learn your lesson?"

"Yes, please make it stop," Mac panted.

Jack knew tears were running down his face, but ignored it.

"You said that last time, but you still defied me, sweetheart. How do I know you won't do it again?"

"I won't. I'll do whatever you saw, just please make it stop."

"That's better, pet," Murdoc said, loosening the ropes. 

Mac sagged in relief. Murdoc pulled out a needle, injecting Mac with it.

"Sleep," he said, before leaving the room.

Murdoc smiled at them before disconnecting the call.

No one said anything, until Riley sniffled a few times before saying, "I know how to find Mac."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment!!!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags have been updated, please read them! I didn't intend for this story to go this way, but it just happened.

Pain. That's all that was on Mac's mind was the pain, the unbearable pain he had been in. When Murdoc had finally come in and offered him a break, he took it. But he was regretting it now, because of the way Murdoc was looking at him.

"You're finally awake, dear. I was almost afraid this wouldn't happen."

"Wh-what wouldn't happen?" Mac asked hesitantly.

"You did say you would do _anything_ ," Murdoc said with a cruel smile, "So how about that blowjob?"

Mac started shaking again, "N-no-"

"So do you want to be punished again? Because I can make it so much worse."

"N-no."

"Good, then do as I say. And remember, letting you go was a one time deal, you let it pass so now all you will get is mercy."

Mac was still shaking.

"I could make this so much worse," Murdoc said running his hand over him until he reached Mac's groin, "And I'm going to get what I want, you just get to choose which way it happens."

Mac knew tears were running down his face now, but he couldn't help it. He didn't want this, he knew it would never happen, but he wanted Jack to come through the door and stop. But it didn't happen. Instead Murdoc kept smiling at him and touching him. Then he lifted himself onto the bed until he was kneeling over Mac's chest.

"Please don't do this, please....Please don't do this Murdoc..."

"I do enjoy the begging, but I'm going to enjoy this so much more, pet."

Jack was a bit excited. True to her word, Riley had figured out a way to find Mac, it was just taking her a bit of time to find him. She had traced the call to a general area and now she was looking for the car in that area.

"Found it!" she finally said. And Jack was out of the room as soon as he had the address.

Driving there took long, too long. Jack was going in with a full TAC team, so they had taken a truck. Because Jack's crazy driving would get there faster and quieter then a chopper and James was unwilling to let them use it anyways. Jack hadn't cared this time and had cursed him out before leaving, which felt good. But Jack was scared. Something in him told him that Mac was being hurt and he wasn't fast enough to stop it. He needed to get Mac now, so he willed the truck to go even faster.

Mac was in pain. As soon as Murdoc was done he had stood up, running his hands over Mac one more time before kissing him. And then he had tied him up again, the same way as before and then left. Mac didn't know what he had done this time, he hadn't disobeyed Murdoc and he hadn't even fought back that much. But it seemed that Murdoc didn't care, he just wanted Mac to suffer. 

Mac didn't know how long it had been, but he flinched when the door opened again. But something was wrong. Mac could tell that their were several people in the room instead of one. Mac whimpered, he didn't want anyone to see him like this. And he couldn't believe it when he heard a very familiar voice.

"Mac."

It was Jack's voice. Was he hallucinating now? Did Murdoc give him another drug?

Mac sighed in relief when the pressure from the ropes disappeared. He realized his hands were free and he frowned. Murdoc hadn't freed his hands even when he had loosened the rope. And then he was surprised to feel something soft covering him up. A blanket.

_What was happening?_

"Mac," said Jack's voice again, "It's okay, you're safe."

"No it can't be. You can't be here. No one cares enough to come save me."

"Mac, open your eyes."

Mac obeyed right away, and saw the form of Jack standing over him. He shook his head again.

"It's not true. You're not here. No one's coming for me."

"I'm here Mac. It's me," fake Jack said. Then he laid a gentle hand one his shoulder, causing Mac to flinch away.

"You're really here?"

Jack nodded and Mac could see the tears in his eyes as he knelt next to him.

"You're safe now, Mac."

Mac sagged, letting his head fall back.

_He was safe._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment!


	14. Chapter 14

Jack was scared when they finally arrived. He didn't show it, of course, from the outside he was calm and collected and ready for whatever was coming. But inside Jack was scared. Scared of what horrible things could have been done to Mac, scared of the condition he would find Mac in. But he took a deep breath and stayed calm. For Mac.

When they cleared the building, Jack was disappointed to find that Murdoc was gone. He wanted to beat up the bastard and kill him slowly, but he put those thoughts aside. He needed to find Mac.

And when he finally did, Jack couldn't help the tears that started falling down his face.

"Mac," he said.

He untied Mac right away, and then laid a blanket he found on the shelf on top of Mac. Mac seemed surprised by the gesture, so Jack hoped Mac would realize he was being rescued right away.

Of course, it couldn't have been that easy. Jack's heart broke when he heard how Mac was convinced that he would never save him.

_He never thinks he's worth saving, he always accepts that we'll abandon him when we find that convenient._

Nothing could be further from the truth, but it was always so hard to convince Mac of that. Especially after all the mind games Murdoc played with him. Jack kneeled down next to Mac when he finally realized he was there. He knew the TAC team had already called for medical.

"You okay?" Jack asked, after noticing how tense Mac looked.

Mac hesitated before saying in a hoarse voice, "Can you help me sit up?"

Jack agreed immediately, his heart breaking at the state of Mac's voice. It sounded like he had been screaming even though his voice usually didn't sound like this after he had been tortured.

Jack watched Mac for signs of pain and it seemed, besides his arms and hands aching, he was fine. Pain wise. But the haunted look in Mac's eyes told him something terrible had happened. The fact that Mac was naked took his mind to places he didn't want it too. He could just pray that he was wrong and by some miracle Murdoc hadn't done that. 

"He wouldn't stop," Mac suddenly whispered, interrupting his thoughts.

"He wouldn't stop what?" Jack asked gently, trying to keep Mac calm.

"He wouldn't stop touching me. I tried to stop him, but I was too weak."

"Did he-?" Jack started asking, cutting himself off. He wanted to ask, but he noticed Mac curl onto himself.

Mac didn't look at him when he said, "He wanted to, but he didn't. He was waiting for me to heal."

Jack was so relived, he didn't notice then tone Mac had said that in. 

"I can still feel him, it's like he's still here, touching me. I want it to stop, please make it stop Jack."

For once, Jack was at loss for what to do. He had never heard Mac sound do desperate, and he wanted to make it stop. But he didn't know how. Normally, he would have held Mac, but he didn't know if that would make it worse.

But when Mac said please again, Jack decided to risk it. He laid an arm around Mac's shoulders and when Mac didn't flinch he hugged Mac, holding him close. Mac melted into the hug, trying to clutch Jack's shirt, but being stopped by his broken fingers. Mac started sobbing and Jack let him, making sure that he wasn't hurting Mac's back. He's forced to let go when the medics finally arrive, but he Mac's sure Mac can still see him.

Jack waited. The doctor had just finished, telling them that Mac hadn't been hurt that much, just delayed the healing for his fingers and he still had minor hypothermia. But he had decided to sedate Mac to let him sleep. Mac had seemed extremally tense and panicked despite the fact that Jack had been right there with him.

It took a few hours for Mac to wake up. He was panicked at first until he looked around and remembered where he was. Mac looked at him with wide eyes, not saying anything.

"Are you okay? Do you need anything?" Jack asked.

Mac didn't say anything, but Jack noticed the tears that started falling down Mac's face. He doesn't hesitate this time, hugging Mac and telling him that's he's going to be okay and that he's safe. Jack doesn't know how long he holds Mac, but eventually Mac's sobs quiet down, so Jack steps back. A shiver runs through Mac.

"Are you cold? Do you want me to get you another blanket?"

Jack know that, despite the hypothermia, it might not be the physical aspect that's making Mac cold. He knows Mac is feeling vulnerable right now, especially lying down on a hospital bed, like how Murdoc had kept him.

"I don't want to be alone," Mac whispers.

"I'll text Riley and Bozer then. They'll bring it."

Mac nods, so Jack pulls out his phone, texting them. They're here with the blanket in less than a minute. Bozer laid it down on top of Mac.

"How are feeling?" Riley asked gently

"Fine," Mac whispered.

But Jack knew Mac wasn't "fine." He was far from even okay. And he knew he would have to stay with Mac, through this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment!


	15. Chapter 15

Mac didn't talk for long. Jack knew he was tired especially when he starting taking a few minutes to process what was being said to him.

"Mac, you can go to sleep. If you want, I could get the nurse to give you something..."

Mac shook his head right away. Jack wasn't surprised, Mac hated being drugged, but something about the desperate way Mac was looking at them told him there was another reason why Mac didn't want any drugs.

_Did Murdoc drug him? What could he have done while Mac was unconscious?_

He'd have to ask the doctor.

Mac looked at him with fear in his eyes and Jack knew what he was afraid of. Nightmares. After being tortured by him and then being tortured by Murdoc, there was no doubt that Mac would have terrible nightmares. Jack's heart broke by the fact that he couldn't prevent them. But he knew he could help and he knew Riley, Bozer, and Matty were there for him. Matty might not have been in the room with them, but Jack knew she was keeping James far away from here.

Jack laid his hand on Mac's arm trying not to feel hurt by the way Mac flinched.

"It's okay Mac, you can sleep. You're safe, Murdoc can't hurt you."

But Mac was still tense.

"What's wrong?"

Mac shook his head.

"It's okay, we won't judge you."

Mac looked at Jack for a few seconds before whispering, "He would watch me after he knocked me out."

Jack felt extremally angry at Murdoc. Murdoc knew everything he did would be tainted for Mac and now Mac was scared to fall asleep while there were people in the room. And Jack didn't know what he could do. He didn't want to leave in case Mac had a nightmare of Murdoc tried to get him again, but he knew Mac was uncomfortable.

"We can leave..."

He could sit outside. It would hurt him, not being able to see Mac at all times, but he would do it if it made Mac feel better.

"No, don't go!" Mac said.

Jack resisted the urge to leave and hunt down Murdoc and kill him for hurting Mac. 

"Do you want to eat something first?"

Mac thought about the question before nodding.

"Soup?"

Mac nodded again. Jack got up and ran to get the soup as fast as he could.

When he got back, he set the soup aside, helping Mac sit up. He seemed instantly calmer when he wasn't lying down. Jack put the tray down on Mac's lap, knowing that Mac wanted some independence. But it grew clear that Mac wasn't going to be able to use the spoon, not with his broken fingers.

"Can I help?" Jack asked.

Mac sighed, "Yeah."

Jack picked up the spoon, filling it with soup. "Open wide..." he said in an exaggerated voice, trying to at least make Mac smile.

But Mac surprised him by flinching away from him.

"Mac?"

"I-I'm not hungry."

Jack knew something was wrong, but he didn't push. He knew Mac would tell him when he was ready.

"Okay. You want to try to sleep?"

Mac nodded, closing his eyes without even lying back down. Jack knew he was asleep almost right away.

It didn't take long, not even an hour for Mac to enter a nightmare.

He was whispering something over and over again," No...no...please don't...don't make me...please Murdoc...no...Jack...JACK..."

Mac was screaming at this point. Jack knew better then to touch him, so he just talked to Mac, trying to calm him down. It took a few minutes before Mac woke up with a hoarse scream. Mac was panting heavily and looking around wildly until his eyes landed on Jack. He froze, staring at him before breaking down in tears. Jack hugged Mac trying to calm him down.

_What did Murdoc do to him?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment!!!


	16. Chapter 16

Mac couldn't stop crying. He knew he was safe, he knew it was over, but it hurt so much. He couldn't get the images out of his head and he just wanted it to stop. He wanted to stop being so scared, he wanted to _feel_ safe. He hated Murdoc's mind games, they had created things in his head which he wished he has never seen. 

He didn't realize he was talking, stammering out his dreams until he felt something wet fall onto his head, tears. Jack was crying, and it was all because of him. It was all because he had a dream about himself being forced to hurt Jack. And then Jack dying. Mac realizes he's making everything worse so he forces himself to stop talking. Jack still kept holding him, letting him cry and Mac couldn't stop. 

He clutched the back of Jack's shirt, ignoring the pain in his fingers. He knew he was being selfish, he knew he was hurting Jack, but he was so tired of being scared and hurt and Jack was safe. For the first time in weeks, Mac felt safe and warm and he didn't want to move. And he was so tired, so he let his eyes slip closed while he was in the warm embrace.

Jack was beyond worried. When Mac started stammering out his dream, he couldn't help the tears that had started falling down his face. It wasn't right, that someone as good as Mac had to go through so much and then still suffer so much afterward. He was surprised when Mac stopped crying and he relaxed in Jack's embrace, letting go of his shirt. Mac had fallen asleep on top of him. Jack couldn't help but smile at how peaceful Mac looked in his sleep. He tried to lay Mac down, but Mac whimpered, clutching at his shirt again. So Jack shifted around until he was sitting in the hospital bed, gently craddling Mac in his arms. And then he fell asleep.

Jack wakes up by Mac screaming. He's thrashing in Jack's arms, trying to push him away. Jack wants to move away himself, but he can't because Mac is practically laying on top of him. When he finally gets Mac to wake up, Mac looks at him with so much fear in his eyes, and starts fighting, trying to get away from him. Jack quickly jumped out of the bed, backing away from Mac. He knew exactly what Mac dreamed of and he knew he couldn't help Mac right now. 

Instead, Riley and Bozer are there helping Mac calm down. Jack is staring at them, so he doesn't notice when Matty walks inside, tugging on his arm. He knelt next to her.

"It's not your fault Jack."

"I-"

"It's not your fault," Matty repeated.

"I-I hurt him. I promised I would be the one person who would never hurt him, but I hurt him worse then anyone else has, even worse then James."

"That's not true, Jack."

"It is! He's scared if me!"

"Jack you can't compare this to James. James wasn't forced to hurt him or leave him. You were. And Mac know that, he still trusts you."

"No-"

"He fell asleep in your arms," Matty said. And Jack didn't even question how she knew that, "He would've never done that if he didn't trust you. He was only panicking because he had a nightmare."

"About me hurting him. I-I've messed up, Matty."

"This isn't your fault Jack. If you want to blame someone, blame Murdoc. You know he's the one who put all of this in Mac's head."

"I know, I know but-"

Jack cut himself off when Matty raised her eyebrows.

"I came down here to tell you that James is going to come down here later today, around 12. I couldn't delay him any longer."

"That's okay. I'll tell Mac when he wakes up."

Matty nods, "Tell him I hope he feels better," she said.

"Okay," Jack said, walking back over to where Mac is sleeping somehow clutching Riley and Bozer's hands.

Jack looks at them, all asleep and all looking so peaceful. He hopes that this never changes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment!!!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry Mac...James is pretty awful to Mac in this chapter so please be careful.

Thankfully, Mac slept through the rest of the night without a nightmare. He woke up peacefully, looking around the room until his eyes landed on Jack.

"What's wrong?" Mac asked.

"Nothing," Jack said, maybe a little too quickly.

Mac raised an eyebrow at him. Jack sighed, he knew he could never hide anything from Mac.

"I was really worried when Murdoc had you," _That was an understatement_ "Especially after everything that happened. I'm so sorry Mac, I never wanted to hurt you. I wish I hadn't done it, that there was another way, but-"

"It's okay, Jack. I already said that, you did what you had to do. You saved my life."

Jack shook his head, "Murdoc was right, he was never going to kill you. I just made things worse for you." _The only thing I really did was stop him from being raped._

"Maybe Murdoc wouldn't have wanted me killed, but those men could have still killed me. You made sure not to get them angry. And even if they weren't going to kill me, you didn't know that. And I know that torture at there hand would be so much worse then anything you could ever do."

"I know, but still..."

"You're having nightmares," Mac said in a voice of realization.

Jack had never been ashamed of his nightmares, but he wishes he never had the images in his mind, the images of Mac being tortured even killed by his hands.

Mac looked at him for a few seconds, before detangling his hands from Riley's and Bozer's and pulling him into a hug. Jack wasn't expecting that, but he doesn't hesitate to return the gesture, holding on to Mac tightly, but not enough to hurt him. Jack didn't even notice when the tears start falling down his face, but he doesn't try to stop them. He just held on to Mac listening to Mac say over and over again that Mac's right there and safe.

It takes some time before Jack pulled away, wiping away the tears on his face. "Thank you."

Jack knew that this won't magically stop his nightmares, but he knew they would be better after this conversation.

Mac smiled, "Of course. You always help me out, so it's not a big deal to return the favor."

Jack smiled, then remembers what Matty told him in the middle of the night.

"James is coming over," he blurts out, "Matty told me."

Mac's smile disappears, "Did she say why?"

Jack shook his head, "She did say she hopes you feel better."

A hint of a smile appears on Mac's face, but Jack can tell that James' visit is bothering Mac.

"I'm not leaving, and neither are they. Whatever James wants to say, he'll say it in front of us."

Mac smiled, "Thanks."

Jack is tense. It's almost 12 and he knew that this visit with James isn't going to go well. And he knew it as soon as he sees James expression when he walked into the room.

"Angus," he said, "How are you feeling?"

His voice remained neutral, like the last thing on his mind was how Mac was doing.

"I'm fine."

"Good. I came here for a debrief. Not the official one, but I need some information."

Mac doesn't say anything, but Jack can here his breath pick up.

"Did Murdoc tell you anything about how he paid those men?"

Mac shook his head.

"What did he want to know from you? And what did you tell him?"

Jack hated how James was talking to Mac, like he was forced to talk to someone inferior.

"He didn't want anything and I didn't tell him anything."

"Then why did he kidnap you?"

James voice has risen, it sound like he's blaming Mac for being kidnapped. Jack clenched his fists, ready to interfere any second.

"I- Because he wanted to? I don't know, he didn't tell me," Mac's voice sounds a bit panicked. Jack can see his heart rate pick up a bit on the machine.

"Did he offer you any deals?"

Mac freezes. His heart rate is almost fast enough for the alarms to start going off. His breathing has quickened and Jack recognized the beginning of a panic attack. Being questioned like that after being tortured wasn't the best thing for Mac to go through. He ignored James, putting his hand on Mac's shoulder and locking eyes with him.

"Breathe," he said, willing Mac to match his breaths with him.

It takes a few minutes, which James thankfully doesn't interrupt, for Mac's breathing to return to normal. He gently squeezes Mac's shoulder before turning back around, to glare at James. James doesn't seem fazed, continuing his questioning like Mac didn't just have a panic attack because of it.

"What deal did he offer you?"

Mac shook his head, "Nothing."

"Don't lie to me!"

Mac flinched, "It was nothing, had nothing to do with Phoenix."

James seemed to calm down a bit. "I want you to tell me everything that happened. Everything."

Mac flinched and Jack knew that he couldn't let this go on any longer.

"That's enough."

James raised his eyebrows, "Last I checked I was Oversight, not you Dalton. You can't order me to do anything."

"You already sent him into a panic attack."

James narrowed his eyes, "It's not my fault he can't just answer a few simple questions."

"That's enough," Jack said trying his best to stop himself from punching James, "Now leave!"

"Dalton-"

"Leave!"

Jack knows this isn't going to end well for him. And his prediction is confirmed when James says,

"You are still being investigated for this. Expect a notice for permanent leave. At the very least."

And with that, James stormed out of the room. Jack ignored the threat, putting it into the back of his mind for later. For now, Mac needs him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment!!!


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for disappearing briefly. The last week has been crazy for me. I'm probably going to update less often then usual because I just started school and I don't know how crazy my schedule will be. I'm still going to update for sure, at least once a week, maybe more! Also sorry this chapter is short...

As soon as James was gone, Mac sagged in relief. He felt terrible about ruining Jack's job, but he was so glad James had left. He didn't know how much longer he would have been able to lie to James face about what Murdoc had done to him. He didn't realize he was crying until Jack kneeled down next to him,

"What's wrong, Mac?"

Mac shook his head, sobbing harder. He felt Jack engulf him in a hug. He wanted to pull back, he didn't deserve any comfort after what he did, but he couldn't help himself. He felt so warm, so safe while Jack was hugging him. And suddenly he felt incredibly guilty. Jack had been helping him, comforting him and he had lied to him. 

He didn't deserve any comfort, he had accepting Murdoc's deal, even though he wasn't getting anything out of it. He had been a coward, he just wanted to end the pain. He knew if Jack had been in his place, he would have never done the same thing. This thought caused him to somehow sob even louder.

"Mac?"

Mac shook his head and buried his head into Jack's shirt.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I should be better by now. I shouldn't be this weak."

"No, no, Mac. It's okay. It's okay that you're not okay. You're not expected to recover from something so quickly."

"I just want to go home."

"I'll talk to the doctor."

Mac didn't say anything, instead snuggling into Jack, he was tired and Jack was so warm. He let himself fall asleep.

Jack wasn't surprised when Mac fell asleep in his arms. Mac was still recovering from his injuries and he had so much added trauma, he needed sleep to recover. He tried to lay down Mac onto the bed, but Mac makes a noise of protest, so Jack stays still.

"Call the doctor," he whispered to Riley. 

She nodded, leaving the room and returning with the doctor.

"What's wrong?" the doctor whispered.

"He wants to go home."

The doctor seemed to think for a minute before saying, "I need to check his vitals after he wakes up, but as long as he's okay with you changing his bandages, I think he's strong enough to go home."

"Okay."

"Just call me back when he wakes up."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment!!!


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the next chapter will most likely be the last one...Then on to my next evil plan ;)

Mac sighed when he walked into his house. He looked around, it looked almost the exact same as it did the last time he was here. The only difference was the dust which was covering everything from the fact that he hadn't been home for so long. It almost felt like he had came home from a long mission. Almost. 

Mac made his way to the couch, sighing when he sat down. Jack followed him, sitting down next to him.

"What do you want to watch?"

Mac shrugged, wincing when the movement pulled on the stiches in his back. Jack looked at him before putting on a random documentary. Mac wasn't paying to much attention to it, but he felt himself relax in the familiarity of his house. He leaned back on the couch, snuggling next to Jack. He couldn't help himself, he was cold and as usual, Jack was warm. Jack put his arm around him and Mac felt safe sitting there. He knew as long as Jack was there, he would make sure nothing would happen to him.

At this thought, Mac felt a wave of guilt again. Jack's job was in danger because of him, because he was to weak to even answer a few questions. And he had lied to Jack. Jack had never once lied to him and Mac had lied. He knew Jack would be disgusted even sitting close to him after he found out the truth and he couldn't bring himself to do that. No matter how much of a coward that made him.

"Mac? What's wrong?"

Mac flinched, shaking his head.

"I know something's bothering you. You can tell me, you know that."

Mac shook his head again. He couldn't. 

"It's okay Mac, if your not comfortable telling me right, it's okay. But something is bothering you and you'll feel better when you get it off your chest."

Mac didn't reply, instead trying to bury himself further into Jack.

Jack was worried. He knew something was on Mac's mind, but he also knew pushing Mac wouldn't help him. Mac needed some control in his life right now. So he stayed quiet, trying to focus on the documentary. After some time he heard Mac whisper,

"You'd hate me if I told you."

Jack froze, how could Mac ever think that?

"No of course not. No matter what you said or did, I can never hate you Mac. Never."

"You don't know what I did."

"It doesn't matter. I could never hate you."

Jack makes sure he emphasizes his point, meeting Mac's eyes so Mac knows he isn't lying.

"I made a deal with Murdoc," he whispers.

Jack's eyes widened, "It's not your fault. Whatever happened isn't your fault. And it isn't a "deal" because you were forced into it," Jack said, figuring out where Mac's mind took him.

Mac shook his head, "I refused at first, but the next time I didn't fight back. I just wanted it to stop hurting."

"It doesn't matter. He was torturing you."

"He said- he said he would let me go if I gave him a blowjob."

No, no, no, Jack had been praying it wasn't something like this.

"I refused the first time, but I gave in. And he kept his word. It wasn't a coincidence you guys showed up after he was done."

Jack didn't know what to say, if he had drove faster, he could have stopped it. Logically he knew it was impossible, but he still felt guilty. Mac didn't deserve this, yet he kept getting hurt over and over again.

"I knew you would hate me. You wouldn't have done the same thing in my place," Mac moved away from Jack's embrace, "I don't deserve any comfort for what I did."

Jack snapped out of his trance of shock, "No, no, of course not. I could never hate you. And I don't blame you for wanting to come home. I probably would have done the same thing in your place, Mac. What happened wasn't consensual. You didn't want it and you didn't deserve it."

Mac stared at him for a few seconds before hugging him, sobbing in his shoulder. Jack wrapped his arms around Mac focusing on trying to make Mac feel safe. He knows he's crying too now.

_I've got you, I've got you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment!!!


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the final chapter y'all!!! I can't believe that this turned out to be 20 chapters!!! Thank you everyone for sticking through me being really evil to Mac!!! I'm so glad y'all liked this and I loved all of y'all's comments!!! Now on to the chapter I guess!!!

It took a while before Jack and Mac stopped crying. Jack felt Mac shift uncomfortably so he loosened his hug. Mac pushed him away, so Jack let go. He wasn't going to do anything that made Mac uncomfortable, especially after what Mac told him.

"You really don't hate me? You don't think I'm disgusting for what I did?"

"Of course I don't hate you! I could never hate you, Mac. And you didn't do anything, he forced you to do it. None of it was your fault."

Jack hated that this had probably been on Mac's mind ever since they had rescued him. Mac didn't deserve the guilt he felt for something that wasn't his fault. But he could help with one thing.

"I don't think Murdoc expected us to find you."

"What? No of course he did."

"We only found you because Riley pulled the car's license plate from a hidden camera and found it in the area she traced the call to. But, the main reason why he didn't let you go was...I don't think he wanted to yet."

Mac flinched, "You mean I didn't...he didn't..."

"It wasn't your fault. And that's not why we rescued you."

Mac visibly relaxed.

"Thank you."

"Of course, Mac."

"No, really. You're really helping me. You aren't pushing me, your comforting me, you don't say anything when I cry, you listen to me when I ask you something. You don't know how much I appreciate that."

"Anyone with a heart would do that for you Mac. And you don't need to say anything to me, I know all of that."

Mac smiled, a true smile that Jack hadn't seen for months. And that's when Jack really knew Mac was going to be okay. He was nowhere close to that now, but he knew Mac would get through this. And he would stick by Mac's side throughout all of it.

"So what are we watching?"

Jack smiled back.

_Yeah. everything is going to be okay._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment and stay tuned for my next wicked plan ;)

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment!


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